or loosing my sanity that is! I have been gone for quite some time, and it's not been because I have been chillin' on a hammock under a palm tree; I am saving that for next week.
Since December life has been extremely busy, we moved, I got sent to Washington by the Military, our house was robbed while I was away, came home and wife had a minor stroke.
A few weeks later life got the best of me, with everything that happened up above, and learning that because of some injuries I sustained in Afghanistan many years ago; I was going to have to retire early from the military; I lost my cool
I broke, literally; my wife had to take me to the hospital. I lost all sense of who I was, me having to retire early was such a blow to the heart; I had planned on making it a career. They sent me home the next day, and that night I was even worst; my wife took me back and was very upset. She tore the Docs a new one, she was upset that they had just sent me home without observation, treatment, without a plan. She explained to them how upset she was that our kids had to witness Daddy break down again. So I was admitted.
This time, WITH a plan. I got treatments, meds, counseling, a support group, more important, I was able to learn how to accept the fact that PTSD is not something I should be ashamed of, and that the hardest part was trying to keep it a secret. I admit at first, for years, I screamed at my wife, telling her she didn't know what she was talking about when she would ask me to please tell the doc's she knew I was suffering from PTSD, I have apologized to her! I spent almost 2 months in the hospital, I came out a new man, refreshed, aware of my abilities and inabilities, learned to be loving with my kids again and also with my wife.
Now my wife is home recovering from another surgery, I am glad i have learned how to be me again, I can hold down the home front while she rests, on my own; with my PTSD.
I almost lost my life, my wife almost lost a husband and my children almost lost their father, all to PTSD. If you know someone who is suffering from it, please try to get them help, you never know how far they are drowning in it. I was lucky enough to have been forced to grab the lifesaver, be someone else's lifesaver!
Happy to be back y'all!